This has been such a different time in my life. Last week I graduated high school, had a grad party, moved in to an intentional community, met many people, went to down town St. Pete and visited with homeless people, spent time with people I knew really well and ones I don't. I've learned much.

Between the freaking outs, sugar crashes, crying, and praying, God's shown me a lot.

To begin with, I made a decision that was hard to make. I decide to stay in the States while most of my friends go over to Guatemala this summer. It wasn't easy. I know that I'm capable of serving people and that I really love everyone in the village of Panimaquin, but somehow I am just not ready. God helped me to get to the place where I could seriously look myself in the face, seeing all that I am (well, most) and understand where I am. Not in some fantasy book or some super churched-up bubble, I understand that I am not yet ready to go to a third world country, with broken people who need love, when I cannot get over myself. Don't get me wrong, I believe that God works through the broken, and even me, but I've decided to stay back this time.

It's hard to make those kid of decisions, and intelligently without bringing your emotions into it, when you have been raised for 18 years to react that way. I'm sure that others can relate to this. I'm glad that there are people around me to encourage the Christ in me and to allow me the place to live.

Oh, and also, the hi-light of my day was swimming with Jon Newhall and the gang in our pool. God is so awesome.